So now we're down to business, and Presentation of the Self is the first cat out of the proverbial bag.
The "Self" is an interesting concept, and in modern society it can almost seem more like a label than anything else, a way of describing an individual on a completely superficial level. If you think about how most introductions start- when you're introducing your "self", there's a certain pattern that discussion normally follows:
"My name is..."
"My age is..."
"My occupation is..."
And if the person is particularly good at feigning interest:
"My hobbies are..."
So on and so forth until you finally recognise that they stopped listening a long time ago.
But is that really all our "self" amounts to? It seems like such a lofty and intangible concept being compressed into an unreasonably simplified, restrictive structure, if you ask me.
We all know that isn't all there is to it though. Beyond our introductions, we all hold up a social facade of sorts so we can be deemed as acceptable to those around us. To fit in with the norm, we bend over backwards, we adapt, we say things we don't mean, and choose not to say things we do mean. All of this complex meandering around one another is something that's handled on a subconscious level, and we rarely notice that we're doing it.
So how the heck does that work? How do we know what we should and shouldn't say? What does it mean if someone else doesn't follow these conventions, will we shun them? It's a lot of questions, but they're all relevant. The reasonable way of thinking about it is that we all learn these skills via our parents, and other individuals who assist in the formation of our sense of self. We're taught manners, we're constantly told
"We don't *insert action here*"
And just like that we learn how to present ourselves. It's not an overnight process, but during our formative years this skill is practiced and perfected without any real notice on our part. It certainly doesn't take any conscious effort, in fact 'effortless' might be the best way to describe the entire ordeal.
So the next time you're introducing yourself to someone, and you have a nagging urge to tell them all about how you've been following them everywhere for the past couple of months, remember that such an obsession isn't socially acceptable, and you're better off keeping that to yourself- because that's the norm.
